If you haven’t done it, you don’t know how.
Until now.
The 9 Most Important Things to Know About Beer Bongs
A useful skill
Watching other people bonging a beer, live or on film, is not the same as actually having done it yourself. If you’re ever in a situation where it would be fun and appropriate to bong a beer, a little knowledge and practice will be valuable. Why be the dude - male or female - who’s never done it, no matter what your age or social status? To see how it's done, watch the definitive documentary below: How to do a Beer Bong!
Watching other people bonging a beer, live or on film, is not the same as actually having done it yourself. If you’re ever in a situation where it would be fun and appropriate to bong a beer, a little knowledge and practice will be valuable. Why be the dude - male or female - who’s never done it, no matter what your age or social status? To see how it's done, watch the definitive documentary below: How to do a Beer Bong!
Preparation pays
If it’s a new bong, spend a few minutes to make sure that it is clean, devoid of odor, and operating properly. Rinse it thoroughly with regular water (no detergent, bleach, etc.), and let it air-dry overnight. Check for leaks and to see that the hose itself is not compromised (holes, discolorations, loose bits of plastic, etc.). Work out any kinks with hot water. If you’re new to the process, experiment with water (food color in photo). Watch how quickly it flows through the bong. Know what you’re getting into.
One beer at a time
Speed, not volume, is the primary goal of beer bonging. Shooting 12 ounces down your throat in about two seconds is a feat. More than that is showing off, and increases the chance of a sputtering fail.
Foam is the enemy
Foam reduces the amount of liquid in the bong, and causes uneven “slugging” at the drinking end. Careful handling of the beer source -- bottle, glass or other container – careful pouring, and a cold beer temperature will minimize foam. Active decarbonation of the beer before bonging usually is not necessary.
If it’s a new bong, spend a few minutes to make sure that it is clean, devoid of odor, and operating properly. Rinse it thoroughly with regular water (no detergent, bleach, etc.), and let it air-dry overnight. Check for leaks and to see that the hose itself is not compromised (holes, discolorations, loose bits of plastic, etc.). Work out any kinks with hot water. If you’re new to the process, experiment with water (food color in photo). Watch how quickly it flows through the bong. Know what you’re getting into.
One beer at a time
Speed, not volume, is the primary goal of beer bonging. Shooting 12 ounces down your throat in about two seconds is a feat. More than that is showing off, and increases the chance of a sputtering fail.
Foam is the enemy
Foam reduces the amount of liquid in the bong, and causes uneven “slugging” at the drinking end. Careful handling of the beer source -- bottle, glass or other container – careful pouring, and a cold beer temperature will minimize foam. Active decarbonation of the beer before bonging usually is not necessary.
A partnership
The operator pours the right amount of beer, raises the funnel high enough, and doesn’t start the flow until the drinker is ready. The drinker is counting on him to get all this right.
The beer matters
Bonging delivers the beer quickly, but you still taste it, so don’t cheap out too much. Brands you don’t ordinarily enjoy won’t get any better, including those with a sharp or metallic taste. Thicker stouts are an unwise choice. High alcohol content is not a disadvantage. A good pilsner works.
Be ready for a no-big-deal fail
At some point your body may tell you that the bonging is over. If the beer is still flowing at that point, there may some sputtering and spraying. Clear your throat quickly, smile, and it’s over. Pick a neutral spot for the excess beer and no one will care. Do a monumental spit take in someone’s face and you’ll be the butt of a legend that never dies.
Do what works
Swallowing 12 oz of liquid very quickly isn’t a natural skill. That’s why you’re practicing. The most common methods are the chug and the open throat, and you won’t really know which to use until you try both. The open throat is worth learning if you bong repeatedly. Flatten your tongue and relax the epiglotus so that it doesn’t snap shut until the liquid is gone. Until you can make this work, aggressive chugging pulls the beer down just fine. Wait for a mouthful, swallow it fast, and let your mouth fill up before swallowing again. Stay clamped until the beer stops coming and you can get a beer down in 3-4 chugs using this method, using a little rhythm.
Bonging enhances alcohol
You don’t get drunker using a beer bong, but you do get drunk faster. Bonging a beer gets it into your system 300 times faster than drinking it over a 10-minute span. Ever do a shot? It’s a lot like that, with beer.
The operator pours the right amount of beer, raises the funnel high enough, and doesn’t start the flow until the drinker is ready. The drinker is counting on him to get all this right.
The beer matters
Bonging delivers the beer quickly, but you still taste it, so don’t cheap out too much. Brands you don’t ordinarily enjoy won’t get any better, including those with a sharp or metallic taste. Thicker stouts are an unwise choice. High alcohol content is not a disadvantage. A good pilsner works.
Be ready for a no-big-deal fail
At some point your body may tell you that the bonging is over. If the beer is still flowing at that point, there may some sputtering and spraying. Clear your throat quickly, smile, and it’s over. Pick a neutral spot for the excess beer and no one will care. Do a monumental spit take in someone’s face and you’ll be the butt of a legend that never dies.
Do what works
Swallowing 12 oz of liquid very quickly isn’t a natural skill. That’s why you’re practicing. The most common methods are the chug and the open throat, and you won’t really know which to use until you try both. The open throat is worth learning if you bong repeatedly. Flatten your tongue and relax the epiglotus so that it doesn’t snap shut until the liquid is gone. Until you can make this work, aggressive chugging pulls the beer down just fine. Wait for a mouthful, swallow it fast, and let your mouth fill up before swallowing again. Stay clamped until the beer stops coming and you can get a beer down in 3-4 chugs using this method, using a little rhythm.
Bonging enhances alcohol
You don’t get drunker using a beer bong, but you do get drunk faster. Bonging a beer gets it into your system 300 times faster than drinking it over a 10-minute span. Ever do a shot? It’s a lot like that, with beer.
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